Community Over Competition

Women Supporting Women

This is something that has really been on my mind lately. A few months ago I struggled in a situation where I felt like I was being cyber bullied by someone I know in my heart I went above and beyond for as a friend. I take a lot of pride in being a loving, genuine and generous friend. Those of you that know me know I am first in line to offer my help, lend a hand or teach others.

I won’t get into details about that situation because then I would be wearing the same shoes that person wore when they walked all over me. Writing this post gives me mixed feelings because it’s not to satisfy myself and it’s definitely not to satisfy any bullies out there. It’s to raise awareness that if you are experiencing something similar, you are not alone.

“when a toxic person can no longer control you, they will try to control how others see you. The misinformation will feel unfair, but stay above it, trusting that other people will eventually see the truth, just like you did.”

After having two separate conversations lately where people I know and care about have gone through similar scenarios it really made me think about why this keeps happening? Enough cattiness. Enough treating people poorly. We as women and moms need to come together. We need to support one another. In doing so we are stronger, we are better and we can fight harder for what is right.

Let’s all be in one big girl squad where everyone can be a part of it and no one is excluded. Yup you heard me, everyone. This isn’t high school, this isn’t a clique where you have to do a certain thing or look a certain way. Let’s look at one another as equals because we all deserve that. We all have feelings.

“The truth is that once you’ve been bullied, you always wonder about peoples’ intentions and trust is hard and feels unnatural. Once you’ve seen and felt for yourself how cruel people can be, your perspective of people is forever altered and your instincts to be cautious are on high alert”

3 Steps to Help Someone Who is Bullied.

  1. Listen
  2. Encourage them to talk
  3. Remember that healing takes time

In relation to social media I think a lot of this negativity comes from their own insecurities or dare I say it jealousy. What is suppose to be a community is being turned into competition. Don’t spend your time comparing yourself to others. Try to avoid thoughts like ” How did that photo get so many likes?” or “I’ll be as good as so and so if I collaborate with that company too.”

Instead allow yourself to be creative and different while staying true to yourself. If you consume yourself with what everyone around you is doing you will be the only one left behind while everyone else reaches new successes. Always remember, it doesn’t matter what other people think and hard work always pays off.

” You can always tell who the strong women are. They are the ones you see building each other up instead of tearing each other down”

Community Over Competition

So, how do you embrace competition? Ask yourself what this means to you?
Community over competition means acknowledging that the whole point of life is *not* to be “the best” at anything, really, beyond being the best YOU. It means using your time to serve others via what you do best, lifting them up even higher than you’ve been lifted yourself. Building others up does not bring you down. Helping someone out does not inherently hurt you. Light only gets brighter by being shared.

” Find your tribe. Love them hard”

Community Over Competition + Blogging

Embrace your community like its your job because in a way, it is. As bloggers our whole schtick is to create a supportive online community. Give of yourself expecting nothing in return. Don’t expect people to follow you back, or exactly reciprocate whatever you do for them. That’s NOT relationship building – that’s mooching and trying to manipulate the system. It’s fake. And at the end of the day…it’s useless.

Long term growth and success only comes from genuine giving – building genuine relationships. Friendships built solely on tit for tat things, I hate to break it to ya: will not pass the test of time.

I would rather put in the effort and time to be a person with real, lasting friendships, and a real, genuine community, whose journey takes a little longer, than someone lacking friends and lacking community who “arrives” much faster than I do.

Community over competition means giving, giving, giving, knowing that karma uuuuusually comes full circle, but not expecting her to right this very second. By helping others you can simultaneously grow into your bigger, better, best self.

” In a world full of look at me girls be a come with me girl “


( Babes supporting babes sweater worn by me can be purchased here. Boss Babe sweater worn by Nikolina – Owner and Maker behind Pacific Knot can be purchased at Minted Method Shop. Arm knit blankets are coming soon to Pacific Knot and you can check her out on IG here in the mean time)

Thank you to the amazing babes that have welcomed me into their community. I am blessed and beyond honoured to call you my friends. Some of you have even become more like family. Stay kind and continue to celebrate each others successes without questioning our own. Cheers babes!

xo

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Getting Stuff Done

8 Tips for managing your time, getting stuff done and feeling good about it!

With so few hours in the day, hundreds of emails and notifications to keep up with, projects left unfinished or piling up, learning how to manage your time is crucial. Both boys are officially in school now and starting all their extra curricular activities this week so I really need to up my time management game since we have had a fairly laid back summer – like I’m talking our floaties are still inflated sitting in the garage from all the time we spent at the lake & yes that’s going on my to do list. Finding a good balance can be a struggle for many of us moms so I am putting together a list of tips I use to stay organized and on time.

Top 5 Mistakes that cause stress:
1. The first mistake is being overwhelmed with an out of control to do list.
2.Not creating a plan or a schedule for your life.
3.Not having a morning ritual
4.Not practicing self care.
5.Not having boundaries for social media, family time and personal time.

Incase you didn’t know I am seriously OCD so naturally I am going to start with decluttering. Declutter your life, your desk and your to do list. You’ll start to feel better already I promise. It feels good to get rid of clutter that is bringing you down.

Next step is to Plan! Be realistic with your daily expectations and make sure you stick to them. Checking tasks off as you go is a great way to stay motivated. While you’re at it, make yourself a morning ritual.

Now that you have your tasks for the day, prioritize them. Remember it’s not a race to get everything done the fastest. Try to be the most effective. Keep focused – eye on the prize. Once you get to a task, make sure you complete it no matter what. There’s no room for procrastination. Most people tend to tackle easy tasks first to push out the difficult ones. Don’t fall into this trap. Once you get organized, STAY organized. Getting organized takes longer than all these tips combined so once you are, stay organized. Plus it will become effortless the more you stick with it.

Here is what a successful day looks like in my shoes…

1. I set my alarm for 30 mins before I actually need to get up. Getting an early start and gaining that extra 10-30 mins starts the day with little to no stress which is key when your making lunches, setting out clothes, feeding three kids three different breakfasts and trying to get two of them to different schools on time. I call this the morning hustle and I know you all have your own version of this.

2. Picture the desired result. Set this is as your intention for the day.
Use an affirmation to start the day on a positive note. Here are a couple affirmations I like:
I love myself I believe in myself, I support myself.
I have the freedom and power to create the life I desire

3. Set your schedule. List your to do’s. Group similar tasks for more efficiency.
Here is an example of what an average day looks like for me:
6:30 – alarm
7:50 – Noah off too middle school
8:15 – Joey off to elementary school
8:35 – gym/exercise
10:00 – Plan dinner, go to grocery store if needed
10:15 – run errands
11:15 – nap time/house work
12:00 – catch up on emails
12:30 – work on projects
2:30 – school pick up
3:00 – start making dinner
5:00 – eat dinner and get boys ready for soccer.
7:00 – Bath & Bedtime routines for all 3 boys
8:00 – MW time ( Mike & Whitney – this usually consists of our fav reality tv and putting our feet up)

Incase you are looking at this list thinking she doesn’t eat breakfast or lunch and where is Cruz? We eat and he is attached to my hip 24-7. This is just an example. If I wrote out every second of the day in between each one of these steps would include, playing, teaching, changing, feeding & boobing Cruz every 30 mins – at least that’s what it feels like some days.

4. Select your top three and keep focused on your priorities. Get to work. Starting small to gain momentum can sometimes help keep you motivated but remember don’t take the easy ones and neglect the hard ones. Once you’ve started one task don’t start another until this one is completed.

5. Plan for tomorrow. Set your future self up for success.

6. Practice gratitude. Be proud of your daily accomplishments. You go girl!

7. UNPLUG!! Spend time with your family, those you love and remember to take time for yourself.

8. Commit to a quality sleep. Recharge for at least 7 hours. This is one I seriously struggle with. Once I start something I don’t like to stop which sometimes conflicts with how much sleep I get. I’ll definitely be working harder on this last one.

Click here for a free printable to do list via Pinterest + Team Confetti

What are your go to ways of staying organized and on time?
I’m always looking for new ways to improve myself. Leave me a comment below I would love to hear what helps you!

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